Hit Zimbabwe tour for six

4. Therefore, our team should not go.

The Australian Government and the Opposition agree with that rough logic, as John Howard, Alexander Downer and Kevin Rudd have been commendably outspoken on the need to cancel the tour - with the Government even offering to pick up the $2 million fine the ICC might impose for breaking a contractual commitment. The wonder is this: why can't the ICC, Cricket Australia and the Australian cricketers themselves see that? How did the much-vaunted values of cricket - all good friends and jolly good company - get so twisted that the administrators of the game can seriously think it is the best thing for the tour to go ahead? And why don't the players themselves speak up, just as Stuart MacGill did the last time this issue arose?

Think again, gentlemen. Instead of being dragged kicking and screaming to do the right thing, why on earth not do it of your own accord? How hard can it be?

Daylight second

Geoff McClure made an interesting point in his column in

The Age this week about Tiger Woods as the No.1 male golfer in the world. For it is not simply that he is the top-ranked player in the world, it is the extraordinary extent of that domination. On the strength of having won nine of his past 13 US PGA Tour tournaments, Woods now has 20.77 points against his name in the weird system that they use for the official world golf rankings. Now, the bloke who is No. 2, American Jim Furyk, has 7.61 points against his name. And here's the rub-a-dub-dub. That gap between Woods and Furyk is greater than the gap between Furyk and Scott Henderson, who is 1000th in the world. Working out this kind of stuff makes TFF's head hurt, but there seems to be a rough resemblance to the proportions of Woods's domination to that between the Test batting average of Donald Bradman and that of everyone else.

Centimetre perfect

A fortnight ago, TFF was honoured to be asked to write the foreword for a new book called

That's Ambitious by the great AFL commentator Dennis Cometti - containing the best of his pearls from the past couple of years - which has meant that I have had access to the proofs of the book. Now, it wouldn't be fair to print the very best, but I tell you what, these two run them close. When Richmond's gritty midfielder Shane Tuck made a mistake and exploded with upset, Cometti was quick off the mark: "I wonder what the team psychologist will make of that. Tuck dropped that mark and immediately shouted out his own surname." And then, many moons later, when they played, ad nauseam, footage of a player involved in a terrible but courageous collision, Cometti opined: "Just wonderful courage from Paul Hasleby. He bounced off one guy and into the path of another. If you watch that replay backwards I bet it says Paul is dead." And finally, Cometti recounted on air his first meeting with Channel Nine's Eddie McGuire in his office. "Ed had an aura. I remember he asked his personal assistant, 'Have you seen the letter-opener?' and she replied, 'It's his day off'. I was impressed." As am I with the book, out in August.

World class

Dear TFF,

In response to Renny's letter about the Australian team's lack of sportsmanship at the World Cup final. (TFF, May 5-6 2007). As a spectator at the final who has just returned from Barbados I need to advise that Renny is wrong on two counts. Firstly, I don't know what was shown on TV here, but Ricky's first act in his acceptance speech was to compliment and congratulate the Sri Lankans. Even before he spoke about his own team's performance. Secondly, the Australians didn't touch their caps but they did acknowledge appropriately EVERY member of the party on stage, which is more than SL did, they only acknowledged one. It is disappointing that people get their facts wrong in acknowledging this great team. I can assure Renny that the Aussies did us spectators proud in their noticeable humility at the trophy presentation, just ask the Sri Lankans sitting with us. Yes, Renny, they actually WERE a class act!

I know. I was there!

Ian McAlpin

Gratuitous plug

TFF has always admired those who harness sporting passion for the greater good, and commends your attention to Uni of NSW student organisation,

Arc@UNSW, which has launched the Outback Assist program - a partnership program between the uni students and the remote Santa Teresa Aboriginal community, 70 kilometres south-west of Alice Springs. As we speak, 15 of those students are fund-raising to travel to the community in July, laden down with sporting gear to organise and run a school holiday sporting program for the community's sometimes troubled youth. A trivia night - attended by Swans Michael O'Loughlin and Adam Goodes - is being held this Wednesday evening at the Roundhouse. Details at www.arc.unsw.edu.au.

TEAM OF THE WEEK

The Kookaburras. Whupped China but good, 7-2, to make the semi-finals of the Sultan Azlan Shah men's hockey tournament. (I know, I've never heard of that particular tournament, either, but that is not the point. Generally, TFF makes infantile fun of its own ignorance on a subject only when it concerns soccer tournaments.)

Lote Tuqiri. One try and a lazy million or so dollars to show for the Super 14 season. Pricey, but a win for the Tahs, nevertheless.

Waratahs. A win. Their third, and last, for the 2007 season.

Queensland Reds. A loss, 92-3, against the Bulls in Pretoria.

Floyd Mayweather. Registered a split points decision victory over Oscar De La Hoya to take the World Boxing Council super-welterweight title.

Casey Stoner. The 21-year-old rider took on the world's best, including Valentino Rossi, at the Shanghai Grand Prix last weekend and dusted the lot of them. He has now won three of the first four races of the year, and people are beginning to talk and write about him in extremely reverential tones.

Pete Sampras. On his return to competitive tennis, won the Champions Cup of Boston, part of the Champions Series for former ATP stars.

St Andrew's Cathedral School Sydney 1st XV. Extraordinarily, they defeated the highly regarded Newington 1st XV 21-18 last weekend. (Perhaps, following ancient tradition, Newington have a couple of potential world-beaters hidden away in their 2nd XV.)

The NRL administration. No doubt about it! Somehow, they managed to "open their books" to the handful of leaguies who could be bothered turning up, and convince them that - not long after they have signed a $90m sponsorship deal with Telstra - an increase in the salary cap of just $4000 per player, on average, is a fair thing!

WHAT THEY SAID

Former world No.1 and almost Australia's favourite daughter-in-law Kim Clijsters announces her retirement at the age of 23:

"Time to marry. Children? Time for cooking and playing with my dogs. And particularly a lot of time with my friends and family. No more travelling. No more stepping in and out of planes. No more having to read gossip or lies in the papers."

Ewen McKenzie uses a business model to explain to Channel Seven viewers why Peter Hewat should not be released from the final year of his contract with the Waratahs: "You have to look at him as an asset. He's a point-scoring asset for the organisation and you don't tend to let them walk out …"

Anthony Mundine at a press conference to promote his Gold Coast fight in June, while displaying his WBA champion's belt: "I'm looking to go to middleweight and light heavyweight over the duration of my career and win titles. What I'm going to try and do is get a pile of these [belts] so I'll have enough to hold my pants up for every day of the week. That's my goal."

Floyd Mayweather nominally hangs up the gloves after beating Oscar De La Hoya in the richest boxing bout in history: "Right now Floyd Mayweather is officially retired. If the fans demand a rematch, what can I say? I don't know what the future holds." I do. It holds a highly publicised "comeback", followed by another "retirement", and then another "comeback," and so on and so forth. Add sweat, and mix.

AC Milan star Cafu gives a rather vivid description of what it was like to lose to Liverpool a couple of years ago in something called the Champions League final: "It was like taking a shower in cold water or as if a piano had fallen on to your head. I was destroyed, but it is part of this great game called football." I think he means soccer. Probably something lost in the translation …

From NRL philosopher, Panthers coach Matthew Elliott, asked if his reputation had been damaged by poor results: "I don't give a shit about reputations. All that stuff is really nice and flattering but if I get caught up in thriving on that, then I'll also get hung up on people bagging me and that's a waste of time." What happened to the bloke? At the Raiders he never said an interesting thing. Since he got to the foot of the mountains he's been as wise as Muhammad.

The formerly named "Michael Clarke Award" for referring to yourself in the third person above and beyond the call of duty, in sickness and in health, has now been re-named the Nathan Brown Award. Here is the latest from the St George Illawarra coach: "There is no Dragons fan out there who wants to win as much as Nathan Brown. I don't like losing."

All Blacks and Chiefs fullback Mils Muliaina: "We just have to do everything at 100 per cent and not die wondering …"

Waratahs coach Ewen McKenzie in his Herald column: "Management of issues at the moment is, in fact, management of perception which, until proven otherwise, is reality."Well, I'm glad we've got that sorted out!